Published Works

Bullfights Out. Ferdinand In.
No more bullfights in Spain, reports the media. Is the majestic fighting bull now on the endangered species list, or has the Spanish government realized that Ferdinand the Bull was right to be smelling pretty flowers instead of goring the guy waving a red cape at him.

Big Corporations, Little Ripoffs
Start counting the nuts.

Bosom Buddies
the story of the bra

Bosom Buddies
the story of the bra

Red China Turns U.S.A. Pink
My politically correct title is Pink-American.

The Art of Barbering
When men get older, they can just cover up wrinkles with mustaches and beards. Except for Arab women in burquas, the rest of us are just out of luck.

The Art of ReGifting
If you received a gift you didn't like, rather than sticking it on the shelf, regift it.

The Truth About Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
It wasn't easy to get an interview with Santa's Reindeers, but it wasn't impossible either.

The Crookedest Christmas Tree
Plan B when you're too broke to buy a Christmas tree.

Top 10 Thanksgiving Rules
The Triple Crown of Holiday Fun is Over. Next is Thanksgiving. Great, as long as it's not at my house again.