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From "Maggie" <maggieonline@maggievanostrand.com>
Subject Politically Indirect, or, the True Meaning of the Word Humbug
Date Dec 20th 2011 3:42pm
To → Stories
 
Humbug means "deception" and if there's anyplace to find humbug, it's D.C. Just because politicians talk doesn't mean they're saying anything. It's high time we sat down and figured out the true meanings behind their deceptive words.

Here are 10 examples of differences between what they say and what they mean:

* FLIP-FLOP
I didn't think you'd understand the word "reversal."

* ESTEEMED COLLEAGUE
I hate his guts.

* IF YOU WILL
I'm sorry, I have no idea of what I just said.

* GOING FORWARD
I'm making a circular movement resulting in a full stop.

* WHAT AMERICA WANTS
Whatever lobbyists pay me to say you want.

* SEA CHANGE
I'll send U.S. jobs overseas because those corporations pay me a lot more than you do.

* SPECIAL INTERESTS
Anonymous corporations willing to pay large money for small favors. Pipeline anyone?

* OBSTRUCTIONIST
By voting no, I can stay loyal to those who pay me the most.

* MANDATE
That's when I'm paid to make you believe that something you don't want is something you do want. Also known as Inventing Statistics.

* BI-PARTISAN
Even if it's good for the nation, I say no anyway because No is now my comfort zone.

I used to think D.C. stood for District of Columbia but it doesn't -- it stands for Dodge City. Finding out that politicians are full of humbug is on a par with finding out there isn't any tooth fairy, Santa Claus doesn't come down the chimney, and mistletoe is really a fungus.

Merry Christmas anyway.
   
©2007 Maggie Van Ostrand, all rights reserved.

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